Everybody thinks Vienna is boring

If you don’t know the gateways, you’re not in. But if you do, welcome to hell

Sunday Morning, SASS club, Vienna

Everybody thinks Vienna is boring. Remember, Vienna is the origin of Decadent. There is no such city like the old, Austrian capital. White, pale facades, sharp, linear buildings, Secession and Karlsplatz, remembrance of Klimt, Sonja Knips, Freud, Third Man, Falco. Enough?

In the early evening, when colors start to change, Vienna moves in her own, specific direction. If you don’t know the gateways, you’re not in. But if you do, welcome to hell. Long hair, purple stripes, high heels: we are in front of the Techno café, where the party begins. Christopher Just, Wolfram Amadeus, Bernard Tobola and others playing their usual electronic repertoire. Viennese are not in a rush. They like a long drink, quality cigarettes and meaningful talks. Guys are edgy, nonchalant, ready to mingle. Girls are witchy, smart, and have a hierarchy of their own. If you’re new, everybody will talk to you. But, if you know the rules, you’d better watch your steps. There is always something going on, beyond obvious conversation. Drugs, dealers, ex-lovers, future boyfriends – by the end of the evening, we all end up in some taxi or in a hotel room.

Friday night is the night for Market, a relatively new place in the centre of Naschmarkt, where you get a long run with Nino Stezl, Hugo Capablanca, Lukas White Gansterer, Masha Dabelka, whoever. The list is long, and music is the best. Amid cocktails, long drinks and led walls, you will meet everybody. Mario Grubisic, Chris Rosa, Rade Petrasevic, Bjorn Segschneider, Martin Grandits, Mario Neugebauer, Milan Mladenovic, Astrid Deigner, Micki Blue, Lukas Willman and Sanja Velickovic are just some of the young artists on the wide Austrian scene. Painters, visual and multimedia artists, all well connected, in every weird way. Also, a number of good DJs. No one in Vienna plays from the laptop.

Old school is in Brut, where you can listen to Bretterbrodendisko nights with Sebastian and Johannes, with Chicago sound mixed alongside new breakbeats, old school disco, minimal techno, always with a performing guest, either Deutsche schlager or some electronic shit. Of course, there is the Zirkus Maximus night, with DJs Patrick Rampelotto and Patricio Salgado, preferring to play exotic vintage records, in line with their delicate taste in music.

Two things on Saturday: flea market at Naschmarkt during the day and Electro Gonner in the evening. I won’t tell you what can you do at the flea market, but if you show up at Electro Gonner, you’ill be welcomed with a short drink, some schnaps or vodka, and beautiful girls on the door. A little older equipe goes there, and they really know what’s going on. Tobi Binnar, the pioneer on Vienna’s decks and tracks, the guy who plays, creates and enjoys electronic music probably more than anyone you’d ever meet, is always on the ball, no fooling around.

But if you wanna end up with a lot of gays or fashion people, I recommend Pratersauna, with its Berliner look and vibe. What happens there, stays there. Yes, it’s a real sauna, with pool in the yard and lots of beautiful people.

In the end, we all wait for Sunday Mornings at SASS club, Karlsplatz. DJs Alecante Cielin and Maximilian Grun welcome all kind of crazy people coming over from any club in Vienna, who are up to prolong the party. No boundaries, no rules, everyone is mad, and just wants to enjoy and have some more fun. It doesn’t matter if your dress smells on Friday night or you’re too high on cocaine, we all love you. And we’ll see you again, right?